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  He nods. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s go.”

  I know he’s only saying that because he’s tired of talking. Which means he doesn’t agree with me. He might even be mad. It makes me even more uneasy, like I’m bracing myself before I get tackled. The problem is I don’t know when the hit is coming.

  Chapter Nineteen

  I don’t know what it is with girls and sexy clothes on Halloween, but I am not complaining. From the second we enter the gym, there’s eye candy at every turn. There are hot nurses, busty barmaids, and naughty fairies everywhere. Even the bumblebee we pass looks more like she’s wearing lingerie. With thigh-high boots. There are a lot of boots in general.

  “I forgot how much I love Halloween,” Garret says as we head up front by the DJ, where the other jocks and cheerleads are sure to be. He points his head slightly to the left, where a girl in a Playboy Bunny outfit dances. “Look at her. Wow.”

  “Seriously, man.”

  He stops. “Ah, shit. It’s Mercedes.”

  I move my eyes up to her head. Sure enough, she’s got Mercedes’s glossy dark hair and perfect profile.

  “Why did you give that up again?” I nudge him, but he doesn’t seem to get the joke.

  “She’s doing this to make me jealous, isn’t she?”

  As if to prove his point, the second Mercedes sees us she shoves Dallas playfully, laughing at what I’m sure is a lame joke.

  I wince. “It’s a possibility, unless she’s actually into Dallas.”

  He scoffs.

  “Yeah, it’s revenge.”

  “Can we go find Keira now?”

  “Not yet. We need to pay our dues.” I take the first step forward, and thankfully Garret follows. I’m already on edge, picturing him losing it any second and declaring to the whole school his undying love for a skater girl. A skater girl I happened to make out with, no less.

  When we’re close enough, Mercedes pretends she just saw us. Well, me. Garret might as well be the trash can beside us, just a fixture. She flings her arms around me. “Russ!”

  “Whoa.” I push her back, wishing she’d stop using me to make Garret feel like crap. “Hey, Mercedes.”

  “Wow, Garr,” Dallas says. “Freaky costume.”

  “Thanks,” he says.

  Mercedes sways in close to me again. “This is way fun! I’m so glad you suggested it. The keg parties were starting to feel like the same thing over and over again anyway.”

  “And that’s a bad thing?” Dallas says. “Booze and making out?”

  She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, it’s boring sometimes.”

  “Maybe it was with your last boyfriend.” Dallas smirks at Garr, but he’s not paying attention. He’s got his eye on the back of the gym, probably watching for Keira. “You’d never be bored with me, Mercy.”

  “Ugh, don’t call me that.” The song changes to a ballad. Before Dallas can ask her to dance, she grabs my arm and pulls me away from the conversation. “C’mon, Russ. Let’s dance!”

  “Sure.” I can’t refuse a dance with a Playboy Bunny, especially when she’s being hunted by such a tool. “Me over Dallas, huh?”

  “Do you even have to ask?”

  I laugh, at least until she starts playing with my hair at the back of my neck. “You really don’t have to do this, you know.”

  She gives me that fake innocent look. “Do what?”

  “Get back at Garr for dumping you, pretend you’re into Dallas just to bother him.” We spin a few times, but she doesn’t reply. I continue. “We’ve always been friends, and I know you’re better than this.”

  She bites her lip. “I…I’m not trying to get back at him.”

  “Then why are you hanging out with Dallas so much?”

  She looks right into my eyes, and I get this sinking feeling in my stomach. “I’m trying to bother you, stupid.”

  “Oh.” I feel dizzy, and not from the dancing. This isn’t the first time one of Garr’s exes has made a pass at me, but it’s the first time I’ve been the tiniest bit tempted. I’ve always liked her as a friend. We could be good together, but dating her is almost as bad as making out with Keira. “Mercedes, I…”

  “I know,” she says too quickly. “You won’t because Garr’s your friend, and it would bug him.” She leans in to whisper in my ear. “But it’s always been you, Russ. And if you ever want to, I’m waiting.”

  The song ends, and she runs off in the direction of the bathroom while every guy in the vicinity stares.

  The air’s too thin. I did not see that coming, not at all. And what the hell does she mean it was always me? She was head over heels for Garret three weeks ago. Something feels off, like I’m missing a big piece to the puzzle, but I don’t have time to think about it because Garr’s already hovering. “How can I snag a dance with her?”

  “What?” Dallas says over his shoulder.

  “Oh.” I shake my head, trying to snap myself out of the shock. What Mercedes said doesn’t matter anyway. I have Keira, and I’m no player. “We thought it might be funny to ask some random loser girls to dance, see if they freak out or not.”

  Dallas laughs. “Dude, I dare you.”

  Garret smiles. “You’re on.”

  So we set out to find some “random loser girls.” Garret weaves through the crowd, trying to look like he doesn’t know who to pick. We haven’t seen Keira yet, though I thought I saw Daphne and Trent grabbing some punch.

  Then Garret laughs. “Russ, it’s like a sign.”

  “What?”

  He points to the back corner, were Izzy and Colin are talking to a cheerleader. No, it’s Keira. I swear that girl is a chameleon. With her hair in a high ponytail and that little pleated skirt, she’s hotter than most of the actual cheerleaders. She smiles when she spots us. My stomach does this flip, since it’s the first time I’ve seen her since we made out.

  “What are you two doing all the way back here?” she says. “Don’t want to tarnish your reputation, do we?”

  “C’mon,” Garret says. “Who cares about that? I wanted to ask you to dance.”

  She raises an eyebrow. “Because I’m a cheerleader?”

  “You can’t dance with him, Keira,” Daphne says from behind. “Look at him—he looks like a total loser.”

  Keira laughs. “True.”

  “You guys just insulted yourselves, you know,” I say.

  They both go quiet, but Izzy fills the silence. “Garr doesn’t look like a loser. He looks cool.”

  “Better than the preppy polos,” Colin adds.

  Garret smiles at that, as if he just got the Godfather’s blessing. The song changes and he holds out his hand to Keira. “Will you deign to dance with me?”

  “Deign?” Keira’s smile is intoxicating, and I force down the jealously as she takes his hand. “That’s a fancy word.”

  And then they’re off dancing, while I stand here wishing I was the one who asked her. Izzy and Colin join them. Since Trent seems to have disappeared, I’m left alone with Daphne, who fiddles with one of her earrings.

  “You’re uncharacteristically quiet,” I say.

  She shrugs. “I always forget how much I hate these things until I get here.”

  “Me, too.” I can’t just leave her hanging. I hold out my hand. “You wanna go be miserable together?”

  She holds back the smile, barely. “If you insist.”

  We go in circles for a moment, and for the first time since I got here I don’t feel on edge. Daphne’s easy to be with, no pressure, no hiding. It’s like dancing with Izzy, but without the gross factor. She still hasn’t said anything, though, which isn’t normal.

  “Daphne?”

  “Hmm?” She looks up at me, dazed, as if she was on some other planet.

  “You okay?”

  She nods quickly. “Oh, yeah. I’m fine. Why?”

  “By now you’re usually ragging on me or talking about all the guys you beat up in practice. You’re too quiet.” I squeeze her waist and she jumps. “What�
��s up?”

  “Nothing. It’s just…it’s embarrassing.”

  “Because I have such a high opinion of you.”

  Her eyes narrow. “Shut up.”

  “C’mon, cough it up. This is our thing.”

  She gives me her signature are-you-crazy look. “Our thing? We have a thing?”

  I laugh. “Seems like it, lately. You know, telling each other stupid stuff and vowing to keep it secret.”

  “Oh yeah, that thing.”

  “So tell me.”

  “Fine. This is the first time anyone’s ever asked me to dance, and I was just thinking how nice it is, okay?” She looks down. “I was trying to savor it, because it might never happen again.”

  “Hey now.” I pull her closer and she looks up at me again. “Why do you keep beating up on yourself like that?”

  Her words seem caught in her throat.

  “Stop it. You are—” Something catches my eye, and as much as I want to look away, I can’t.

  “Russ?”

  “That is not my sister kissing Colin.” I squeeze my eyes shut. Maybe they’re playing tricks on me. I open them. Nope, still there. “Daph, please tell me I’m not seeing that.”

  She laughs. “Sorry. You didn’t know?”

  “I was hoping I could stay in denial.” I hang my head, almost knocking hers. “How long?”

  “She’s liked him for months, but she told him a week ago, since he didn’t seem to be picking up on her hints. Is it really that big a deal?” The song stops, so I let her go. Izzy and Colin are still kissing. I’m going to be sick.

  “She’s my baby sister,” I say, as if this should explain everything.

  Garret and Keira come back to us. He pats my back. “So, Izzy is…”

  “Getting it on?” Keira says.

  “Real helpful, thanks, I needed a phrase like that to go along with the image,” I say.

  Garret winces. “It’s weird, even for me.”

  “I can’t look at that anymore.” I almost want to go over there and break them up, but I know she’ll hate me for it. And she’s sixteen. I’d kissed ten girls by the time I was her age. Still, I don’t want some guy all over her, even if it is a nice guy like Colin.

  “So I don’t get a dance with you?” Keira pouts, and for a second I almost say I’ll dance with her. But Izzy’s there in my peripheral vision, grossing me out.

  “Sorry. Unless you want to hang out with our friends. You’d blend in just fine.”

  She cringes. “Hell, no.”

  “See ya, then.” I head back towards the DJ, determined not to look back.

  The rest of the night is boring. Garret dances with a few girls, keeping up appearances. I lean on the wall, painfully aware of the hot bunny who keeps glancing my way. Mercedes put herself out there, and I couldn’t do anything but stutter and refuse. Why’d she have to do that? We were friends. Now it’ll be one of those awkward situations where we never know what to say to each other because all I can think is that she wants me.

  I wish I could leave. Maybe stop in at Parker’s and see if they need anything. That would take my mind off crap.

  When my phone buzzes I wonder if the Old Man can read my mind and he’s calling me in. But it’s a text, and I don’t know the number. Everything changes when I read: My house @ 2. Walk. Bring snacks. Frm K.

  Chapter Twenty

  When I get home, Izzy’s music blaring from upstairs puts me at ease. At least she’s here, not out with Colin doing…I don’t even want to finish that thought. She has a boyfriend. My little sister has a boyfriend. I shake my head. Think of Keira, Parker’s, anything else.

  My parents’ laughing comes from the living room, and when I turn the corner there they are, cuddling. Ugh.

  “Have fun at the dance?” my dad asks.

  “Yeah.” If you consider awkward social situations fun.

  He turns away from the movie, and his eyes go wide as he zeroes in on the jacket. “Is that my…?”

  “Oh, uh, Izzy found it in storage and made me wear it.” I touch the slick leather, wondering if he’s mad. “Hope that’s okay.”

  He smiles. “You can have it. I used to wear that in college. I called it my Lady Killer Jacket because no girl could resist me when I wore it.”

  “Honey!” Mom smacks his arm. “Are you saying I fell for you because of a jacket?”

  “I seem to remember you liking it.” He kisses her cheek. “You should take it to college, Russ, see if it still works its magic.”

  I try to stay calm, but the way he just assumes I won’t have an alternate plan kind of bothers me.

  Mom points at me. “You are not taking that with you.”

  Dad laughs. “Didn’t you just imply it wasn’t a factor?”

  She turns back to the movie. “I plead the fifth.”

  Dad tackles her, and I run for the kitchen before the parental affection gets out of hand. Mom’s giggling is enough to give me flashbacks. It’s disgusting how much they like each other, though I guess there are worse things than having parents who sneak off to make out at your uncle’s wedding. Grandma found them in the pantry when she went looking for extra napkins. About gave her a heart attack, and soon the whole family knew.

  On second thought, maybe it does suck.

  When I get to the kitchen, I take the jacket off, deciding I don’t want to have anything to do with it. I throw it onto the table and it knocks a few papers off. It’s only when I go to pick them up that I realize what they are: college brochures.

  Dad must have called the schools or something, because these are nice, glossy papers, not something you’d print off from the computer. And they’re all his college choices—Sacramento State, my parents’ Alma Mater; San Jose State, near where they lived before I was born; and Stanford, home of his favorite college sports teams.

  Subtle.

  I probably shouldn’t, but I throw them in the trash. Maybe my dad is trying to be understanding about the college thing, but his hopes and expectations are crystal clear. He wants me to go. Well, he’s got another thing coming if he thinks I can get into any of those schools. And it’s not even that I can’t get in. I just don’t want to go. The more I think about it, the more I’m sure of one thing: College is not for me.

  Dad doesn’t want to hear it, so I just won’t talk or think about it. I have a hot, secret date tonight. That’s what I should be thinking about. I search the pantry for snacks to bring Keira. I almost go for a bag of chips, but then think better of it. I need something quieter.

  A little pang of guilt hits me. I’ve never actually snuck out of the house. Sure, I stay out late. Sometimes my parents get mad about it. If they catch the smell of beer, they definitely yell. But they’ve always known I was out. I could always come up with some cover if I didn’t want them to know exactly where I was. You can’t cover two in the morning.

  Apples, perfect. Taking the chips for show, I stuff some in my mouth as I walk by them again. I groan because my fake snacking isn’t even necessary. They’re full-on sucking each other’s faces off. Then Dad grabs mom’s butt.

  I can’t swallow my chips.

  When I get to my room, I glance at the clock. 12:27. That’s a lot of waiting. I change into normal clothes. Then into pajamas in case Izzy storms in. And just like that, she does.

  “Hi,” she says.

  “Hi?”

  She tugs at her braid, for once looking unsure. “Um…are you mad at me?”

  “For?”

  “Not telling you about Colin.”

  The image of them at the dance comes back and I wince. I’ve seen every member of my family kissing tonight. That has to be some kind of record. I at least deserve a prize for not hurling.

  She frowns. “You are mad.”

  “No. Just surprised. Colin is…” Nerdy, skinny, weird, quiet, short. Honestly, I don’t know him that well. Daphne makes an effort to talk to me, but Colin is minimal on conversation. I never saw the need to extend my interaction with him beyond a
pleasant hello and small talk. I’m kind of regretting that now. “He’s a good guy. It’s just weird. I’ll get over it.”

  “I didn’t know how to tell you, so I just…didn’t. But then I got tired of keeping it secret, so yeah. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” What else am I supposed to say? I’m doing a lot of not telling people stuff myself right now. Sometimes it’s just easier than having to explain.

  “Okay.” She looks like she has more to say, but she leaves anyway. I don’t like the feeling in the air when she does, as if there’s a new, gaping distance between us. Maybe it’ll fix itself after I get used to the idea of her having a boyfriend. Right now it’s too fresh, and I can’t tell her I don’t like it. That won’t do anything but hurt her feelings.

  I lie in bed, watching the minutes tick away. My parents still aren’t asleep and it’s 1:30. My mom’s laugh carries from the living room every now and then, as well as the humming bass of the movie soundtrack. There’s no way I can get to Keira’s house on foot by two, which freaking sucks.

  I pull out my phone and reply to her text. Parents awake. Can u wait?

  A few seconds later, my phone buzzes. R they vampires?

  Sry.

  Just be here asap.

  For sure. I shut my phone, smiling like a fool. Even texting Keira gives me a rush. Picturing her typing to me, waiting for me, washes out all the other crap.

  My parents finally make it to their room around two. They turn on the water to fill their giant bathtub, and then on go the jets. Perfect. I throw on a thick hoodie, make sure I have the apples, and tiptoe through the hall. For once I’m glad Mom makes us take our shoes off at the door, because there they are ready for me. I slowly inch the door open, more worried about Izzy hearing than my parents, and then I’m out.

  As I walk down the street, I keep looking over my shoulder. It can’t be that easy to sneak out of my house without anyone knowing. But no one is following, and by the time I get out of Hamilton Villa I’m more at ease. The streets are abandoned and the fog is pretty thick tonight. Not even lights shine from the houses. A dog barks, scaring the shit out of me, and I pick up the pace to get away from it. One car passes, which is when I realize I should be careful about cops. I probably look suspicious, what with the hoodie and my hands shoved in my pockets. Oh yeah, and I’m out at two in the morning.